A few days ago my spirits were low and I couldn't help but feeling a little "Used" as a friend. I am definitely not perfect but I really try to be there for others and in this moment of self pity I couldn't help but think of recent events where certain people I'd counted on hadn't be there for me or friends reacted in a way I felt was unfair.
I was feeling low and pondering on all the times I'd had x,y,z going on and "Suzie Q" hadn't attended, yet I'd been there for so many of their events or had done different favors etc for them.
It was a really hard moment and of course just a little teensy-weensy bit of anger crept in because I was focusing on the wrong thing.
Late last night as I was up late folding laundry after my terribly long day of work, I had my "Come to Jesus moment" as I like to refer to them where I realized my heart was in the wrong place.
It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks these thoughts:
Would I rather be giving and be present for friends, acquaintances, and even complete strangers and know I'd done the right thing?
Or would I rather not do anything for anyone else, be selfish, and withold the ultimate blessing on my life and feelings you get when you truly help someone in need?
Of course you can probably guess which one I chose. It just became so clear to me that although I may feel lonely or that someone isn't there in my time of need, it doesn't matter. God is there for me! My family is there for me!
Would I REALLY let those feelings keep me from helping others?
Was my selfishness going to be a stumbling block?
Would I really keep myself from those amazing butterflies you get when you help someone who really needs it?
No! I really wouldn't!
In the military community, there happens to be a lot of people who "need" something in their life whether it is just someone to talk to, a monetary gift, or even a material need. If God has provided a surplus in my family and I know someone has that need, I either have the choice to be selfish or the choice to help that person.
Which has more of a blessing on my life? Which will teach my children's the right way to a "clean heart"?
I have so much to be thankful for and why wouldn't I share that with someone else?
So the next time I feeling lonely, hurt, and abused by someone I'm praying I accept it with the right heart and remember I have 2 choices in life!
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