I have a confession....

I have a confession.

It may or may not be apparently clear but I have to confess I. Am. Battling. Depression.

Every day I struggle with my self-worth.  I constantly am being told "You're not good enough."  I'm told  "You're a terrible mother."  I feel weak and I feel down-trodden.  I'm broken and on the verge of tears at any second and the worst part is no one knows.

I grew up thinking I was less of a person to admit these things.  It wasn't that anyone told me that outright, its just how I felt.

Now as I'm in my mid-20s I'm realizing its okay not to be perfect.  Although I'm Type A and desperately seek for perfection, I've discovered that my chipped, bruised, battered soul is not alone in its struggle.

I can't say why my personality deals more with this than another person.  Believe me its a question I've long wanted an answer for.  I've been in hiding thinking it was better no one knew what I was going through but it has hit me of late a quote I've heard throughout my childhood: " You go through what you go through, to help others get through what you've been through."

This post isn't for you to feel bad for me or even think of me any less.

This post is for anyone out there who constantly feels inside of themselves that they aren't "enough".

This post is for that person who is ready to "give up" on life.

This post is for the soul that wonders when life will get better.

You know what, I don't know when it will get better but what I've learned is this life is worth living.  My dear children and husband are worth it.  I'm.Worth. It.  (That is something I constantly have to remind myself.

Even when I feel completely hopeless and that I was dealt a sure rotten hand, I have to remind myself that there are people in my life who are completely worth it.

So many people have no idea the struggle that I'm going through and where my life has taken me. They've said the worst things possible to me not realizing the pain they were really causing.  They have no idea what my childhood was like or what I've been through.  I can't let them ruin or dictate my life.  Their words hurt but sometimes those that hurt are really hurting badly themselves.

All I can do is be honest and share that "I'm not perfect."  I constantly feel down on myself for not being "better"  I pray for strength to get through a day and feel good about  myself.  It happens some days but definitely not all of them.

To the person reading this knowing exactly the feelings I'm referring to, please know you AREN'T alone.